


planet earth is blue (and there's nothing i can do)

by silwehrleining



Category: GP2 Series RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Homesickness, M/M, My First Fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 21:37:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8261203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silwehrleining/pseuds/silwehrleining
Summary: Far above the MoonPlanet Earth is blueAnd there’s nothing I can do.David Bowie - Space Oddity“Sean!” It’s Antonio. It’s always Antonio, isn’t it? He looks alarmed on Sean’s behalf and his eyes (green, so green) shine in the muted glow of the car. “Are you ok?!”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from David Bowie's Space Oddity
> 
> This is something I wrote on a whim. My first ever fic and I couldn't have done it without my GP2 squad. Thank you guys for letting me into your lives. <3 I hope anyone who reads this enjoys it. Have a nice day!

_Far above the Moon                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Planet Earth is blue                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   And there’s nothing I can do._

 

Sean grimaces as he sips his ale, the fizzy yet slightly cold taste leaves a new and peculiar taste in his mouth as laughter reaches his lightly muddled senses - they’re at Mitch’s flat in London, watching football and venturing (whilst failing) to ease the growing anticipation of the coming race in Malaysia. Sean notices a sigh slip through his lips, and he shakes his head vigorously in an attempt to clear it of the alcohol he’s ingested so far. He faintly hears laughter in the background and wonders what’s occurring that has everyone laughing. He takes another sip of his ale and wonders why he is even drinking it.

 _Trying to forgot about home,_ he thinks somberly. Sean thinks backs to the days when he would carelessly sprawl on the beaches of Sumatra with a glass of Cendol and not have the slightest care in the world. This train of thought only serves to worsen his already shoddy mood.

“What’s got your panties in a twist, Giraffe?” The sound of Mitch’s light, teasing voice reaches Sean’s ears and makes him jerk his head up in surprise. His voice has a cracking lit to it and he internally curses his weakness. “Nothing. I’m just not feeling well, that’s all.”

That statement makes everyone abruptly stop what they’re doing and set their eyes on him. Sean groans internally, because this isn’t what he needed. What he needed was to get over himself and prepare for the next race. And this funk that had been persistently following him these past few days seemed hell-bent on making is life more difficult than it had to be.

It was Antonio who spoke up first, “Well, if that is the case, you should be resting.” Antonio’s concerned tone makes Sean look up and stare at the Italian. At his pale, alabaster skin and into his mesmerizing viridescent eyes that now held an amused glint to them. “Or do we need to take you to a hospital?”

Sean finds the corners of his mouth twitching upwards when the small living room of the flat becomes filled with the rambunctious laughter of the group. Everybody knows about his (irrational) hate of doctors and all manner of things that have to do with them since his childhood.

His mood somewhat lightened, Sean decides not to dally any longer and makes to say his goodbyes. As he’s making his way out he feels a warm, lose grip encircle his wrist.

“What? Thought you could leave without me?” Antonio’s slightly slurred voice makes Sean almost roll his eyes. Antonio really couldn’t hold his liquor, could he?

Nevertheless, Sean knows he could never leave the Italian alone. “C’mon, mate. Let’s go home!”

Antonio barely recognizes what he said and nods dumbly as they make their way through the door into the cold and unforgiving rain and begin a mad dash (with Antonio clutching onto him) through the downpour. They make it to Sean’s car just as the dreary sky illuminates with a silky amaranthine glow as lightning and thunder dance across the sky.

Sean places Antonio in the passenger seat and sprints around the car to the drivers side of the Porsche. The door slams with a loud thud as Sean hops in and closes it. He takes a minute to catch his breath and calm his heart that feels as if it is thumping against his ribcage. Sean looks over to see Antonio fast asleep and breathing deeply and calmly.

Sean feels a little warmth begin to grow in his chest at the sight of the Italian. Sighing, he starts the car and takes off down the inky, abandoned streets of the West End of London.

Sean feels his eyes begin to droop as he guides his Porsche down Regent Street and looks at his watch through hazy eyes. _4:44 am_. In a bid to distract himself from falling asleep to the repetitive, staccato rhythm of the raindrops, Sean turns on the radio. Hoping the music will keep him awake.

_Here am I floating                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   ‘round my tin can                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Far above the Moon                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Planet Earth is blue                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   And there's nothing I can do._

 

Sean huffs a sharp laugh as David Bowie’s theatrical and baritone voice reaches floats throughout the car. _This is exactly what I needed, wasn’t it?,_ he thinks sarcastically. Cynically.

His mind takes him back to where he doesn’t want to go (but when has that ever stopped it?). Indonesia.

Ubud. Borobudur. Bunaken. His memories all come rushing back to him. Unstoppable force coming to meet it’s final destination, him. Sean has to desperately fight back the tears that want to come out of him unrestrained and most of all, pathetically.

 _Why can’t I just be happy?,_ he thinks brokenly. His chest is beginning to ache something fierce and feels like he might be about to throw up—

“Sean!” It’s Antonio. It’s always Antonio, isn’t it? He looks alarmed on Sean’s behalf and his eyes (green, so green) shine in the muted glow of the car. “Are you ok?!”

Sean looks back at him through glassy eyes and he hates how his voice comes out choked. Broken. “No.” One simple word that releases waves of pain, doubt, and lost self-esteem. And Sean rides them. He let’s it all out and bangs his head on the headrest of his car. Why can’t he just be happy here? He’s living his dream and truly, how many people could say they do as well?

 _It’s all the more reason I should be happy here,_ he thinks exhaustedly.

They’ve long since been stopped on the side of Oxford Street and all Sean can think of is going home.

“What is happening to you? You must tell me!” Antonio looks so desperate to help and something breaks in Sean. Again.

“I don’t know anymore, Tonio.” Sean’s voice is so small and muffled. Like a body without a should. Dead.

“You can tell me anything. You know this already.” Antonio’s voice is soft and gentle. Like he’s approaching a small, wounded animal. “I will always be here for you.”

Sean feels his throat tighten and whatever he was about to say gets stuck there. Antonio is such a sweetheart and Sean will never know what he’s done to have him in his life. After a few minutes and silence and absentmindedly listening to the slow lightening of the rain, Sean speaks. “I-I’m just so homesick. I know I sound like such a spoiled brat, but I can’t help it.” Sean still aches, but he knows that if anyone were too understand him, it would be Antonio. “I never thought that I would be giving up so much to achieve my dream until now.” Sean whispered to himself.

Antonio must have picked up on his muttering because he responded to Sean. “I know how you feel. But you must look at the bright side. We have each other, don’t we? Together we can do anything we set our minds to. I’ll always be with you. Never forget that.” Antonio’s heartfelt words hit right were he was at his most insecure and Sean could only thank him for that. He felt alive in a way that he hadn’t felt since arriving in Europe. He felt unchained from his burdens and he could finally move on from this point in his life.

So, in a moment of clarity, fueled by revelations and kindness, Sean reached out for Antonio and hugged the Italian tightly. “Thank you so much, Tonio. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

Letting go of the Italian, Sean looks into his viridescent eyes and sees them crinkled with happiness. “C’mon, let’s get some fresh air and some sunshine.” Belatedly, Sean realizes the the Sun has risen and the rain has stopped. Stepping out of the car, Sean stretches and takes in some fresh air. He feels an arm encircle his waist and looks to his left see Antonio cuddling him.

 _And some things in life,_ Sean realizes, _you have to take hold of by the balls_. And reaches down to gently lock his lips with Antonio’s. _…Or, let it take you by the balls._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trash, I know. XD See ya later!


End file.
